When hopes and dreams are shattered and come crashing to the floor, the last thing that helps is someone offering to pray to a God who seems distant and uncaring.

Or when a temptation feels too great to overcome, the “thou shalts” and “thou shalt nots” that are preached on a regular basis—usually laced in condemnation and self-righteousness— don’t help. If anything, it makes things feel worse. 

How do we live the life God expects of us when we don’t have the strength to? 

We need to know God personally

We need to have a real relationship with God— and I’m not talking to non-believers.       

Imagine this: you want everyone to know your dad, who’s a master plumber. So, you write a book about him. You add some quotes, stories, and tips, then hand copies of this book out to everyone who could use a bit of plumbing help. 

However, the moment your dad walks into the room with these people, they’re so busy reading about him that they don’t pay him any attention.       

“I’m the one you’re reading about!” he exclaims. “I’m right here! Let me help you with your plumbing issue!”  

But instead of looking to him for help, they examine the book as thoroughly as they can rather than showing your dad the leak that they can’t figure out how to fix.

This is what many people did—and still do— to Jesus. Lots of people were waiting for Him, yet ignored Him when He finally came. They were reading about Him while shoving Him aside so they could continue to study cryptic messages about a coming Messiah—which all pointed to Him in the first place (John 5:39). 

Anyone can read the Bible. If you pick a random person off the street, they can most likely tell you something about the Word of God. 

But do they know Who these words are all about? 

Knowing God vs. knowing about Him

When people spend their time constantly doing good things, always searching the Scriptures, just going through the motions of church and quiet time and prayer because this is what they should do, it becomes religion. 

The enemy will target and—usually—destroy people who don’t know God. 

Satan knows that if all we understand of God are rules, cliche one-liners, and doing things just because people say we should, he can wreak havoc in our lives.

Why?

Because none of those things bring us closer to God, and if we’re not connected to Jesus, the vine (John 15:5), we won’t bear fruit. 

We won’t become everything that God has created—and sacrificed greatly for—us to become. 

God has called His people to know Him, not organized church. To know Him, not just the passages in Scripture that talk about Him. He wants us to know Him for who He is, not who other people interpret Him to be. 

None of these things are wrong—organized church, Bible verses, and people’s own opinions on God. 

But we have to know Him for ourselves. We should never rely on other people to have a tight walk with God. While it’s important to be in fellowship with other believers, God has called us to be in fellowship with Him.

As a child and pre-teen, I didn’t know God until I cried out to Him in a moment of intense need. The reason He and I are best friends is because He met me there. 

I saw a God who didn’t just sit in heaven and looked at me with a strange expression on His face, but One who was madly in love with me. A God who would jump into my messy, painful situations and show me His love and healing power. 

A God who was and is so real. 

You can read about that here. 

You see, that was when I met God. Not religion, not a new Scripture or a great sermon, but the One it has always been about. 

What does it look like to have a real connection with God?

I can’t tell you what a relationship with God will look like for you, because it’s exactly what it sounds like— a relationship. No two are the same. 

I can tell you what I believe it involves, through Scripture. 

Prayer

And the best thing about this is that it doesn’t have to be one sided! God wants to talk to you too (Jeremiah 33:3). 

You might not hear an audible voice, but when a thought just leaps into your mind, the chances are that it’s God trying to say something to you. Be listening when you pray (John 10:27)! 

(If you struggle with knowing if a thought was from God or not, you may enjoy this blog post: You Must Be Led by the Holy Spirit | Knowing His Voice is Everything.)

Repentance

Repentance is more than an apology—it’s a change of heart and direction. 

Just because we are under God’s grace doesn’t give us any excuse to keep sinning (Romans 6:1-2). In fact, since we represent God, we should constantly be asking the Lord to show us if there’s anything in our lives that shouldn’t be there. 

Then, if anything comes to mind, repent! Being right before God is the most important thing for a believer—God takes sin very seriously. 

(You might like my blog series about representing God if you’re thinking about the importance of representing Him accurately to those around you: REPRESENTATIVES.)

Worship 

God is the greatest father, friend, and companion. He’s just the best at everything. 

But He’s also God, and deserves our love and adoration. (It’s amazing how He doesn’t just force it on us—He doesn’t demand our respect, He earns it!).

Since He is enthroned on the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3), then it’s so important that we do just that—praise Him!

Going to your hiding place

I wrote an article several weeks ago about your hiding place with God. This is that place where it’s just you and God and no one else is allowed in. 

The hiding place is one of my favorite things about my friendship with God. I’ve decorated and designed it just the way I like, and whenever I go there in my mind, Jesus is always waiting with a huge hug. 

He’s what makes it so perfect. 

No matter where I am—the car, my bed, out of state, at someone else’s house—I can always go there. 

I’m reminded of a picture I got in my head recently that I wrote down in a notebook. Part of it said, 

“The terrors around me faded from my mind’s eye as I took Jesus’ hand, following Him to our secret place. It didn’t matter what my circumstances were; I’d never been so close to my Savior.” 

So, don’t forget…

There are no “formulas” for what a true, two-sided relationship with God looks like, because that would soon turn to religion. 

It’s important to remember that we serve a very outside-of-the-box kind of God, and there are surprisingly little cut and dry rules when it comes to our own personal walks with Him. 

Always be willing to change your perspective and opinions as God’s Spirit leads you—He’ll do so much more than you could ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21)! 

God wants you to seek Him for yourself. No amount of sermons, blog posts, or pieces of advice—even from strong disciples—will ever come close to the beauty of what God is offering you: an interactive, real relationship with Him. 

Not built on a foundation of judgment and disappointment. 

Not one sided. 

Definitely not religious.

A walk with God where you call Him “friend” and He’s as real to you as the people you interact with on a daily basis. 

This is a relationship with God—so run from religion and into the arms of of the One who adores you! <3